Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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