chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
