There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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