He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize