Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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