He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
