oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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