Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize