it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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