you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
