I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
