I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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