I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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