Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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