windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She's the barista slut.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
