What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
