Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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