Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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