I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
