I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Damn victory sex feels great
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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