Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my being single is dangerous.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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