Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
