Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
zippers are such a cool invention
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
