I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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