Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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