I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my liver is dry heaving
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
