I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
