It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
