I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
