just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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