Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
