Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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