After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize