does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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