i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
