need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
