i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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