I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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