season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I want her autograph on my taint
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
