i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
