Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so that wasnt chicken after all
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
