Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
