I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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