Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
