This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I FOUND THE LEGS
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
