just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
