i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
