I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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