We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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