how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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