his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
