your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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