I want to make a zoo with you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
