Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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