He is an equal opportunity slut.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
