Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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