And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
