"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just pee around me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
