Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
