Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
