He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize