the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
