I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
